Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

On Saturday, I celebrated my twenty-second birthday with friends and family. It was one of the best birthdays I've had in years. We gathered at the house for a relaxing day by the pool followed by a delicious Italian dinner - ordered in from Umberto's. It was perfect. 

One of my friends embarked on a six-hour journey from Rochester to Long Island to show up for dinner and surprise me. That was awesome. We hadn't hung out since we graduated college and this birthday reunion was well timed. What an amazing example of friendship. That's the kind of gesture that inspires me to be a better friend and kinder, more generous person in general. 

Birthdays are cool. On your birthday, you’re special. People are nicer to you. You get presents. You get surprises. You get fancy dinners. You have this magnetic attraction around you that pulls friends and loved ones to your side.

But for me, birthdays are also a chance to reflect on life. As I mark the Earth’s twenty-second rotation around the sun since my soul incarnated into my body, I look back upon the previous years. We are always getting older, and we will not last forever. With that in mind, I want to be sure that I am happy with the person who I have chosen to be.

I’ve made mistakes over the past year. That’s to be expected. What’s important is that I learn from them. The way I see it, as long as I’m learning from my mistakes, then they aren’t really mistakes: they’re lessons. I only regret the times it took me more than one “mistake” to learn the same lesson. I’d hope to correct my mistakes after the first time I make them. Ideally, I’d hope to gain the foresight not to make decisions that lead me into undesirable circumstances. But I know frustration will not help me, so even if it takes a few times, I am grateful for the lessons I learn in life.

I look forward to the coming year. I consider my dreams and aspirations. I wonder what is realistic to expect myself to accomplish within the next year. I don’t want to limit my ambition but at the same time I don’t want to overwhelm myself. As always, I’m a little bit nervous about the future. It’s hard not to be. But I take a deep breath and remember that a positive attitude is more powerful than most people think. I resolve to succeed. I don’t know exactly where I’ll end up but as Tolkien said, “Not all those who wander are lost.” I will be okay.

My mind returns to the present. It’s important to let yourself feel gratitude. To just look around you and appreciate what you have. On my birthday, as I am showered with love and attention, I am reminded to say thank you for the gift that makes it all possible: life. Too often, we do not appreciate the lives that we are given, as we complain about our lack. On this day of abundance, I realize that no matter how cliché it may sound, I must never forget that life is a gift.

As I think about life and death, I say a prayer for the family of Trayvon Martin. I say a prayer for his soul. There is a tremendous amount of controversy over the case. I imagine it must be difficult for those that were close to him to have this trial in the spotlight. Personally, I don’t think we should be broadcasting these trials on national television, especially when they are so racially and emotionally charged.

I don’t want to weigh in on this case. I wasn’t in the courtroom, nor was I at the scene of the crime. I don’t know exactly what happened and none of us ever will. But if a jury of our peers that was selected by both the prosecution and defense chose to render a verdict of not guilty, then what can anyone do about it? I understand people’s frustration, but getting angry about a court decision will not reverse it. As our President says, “We are a nation of laws, and a jury has spoken.”

Some people protest against a broken justice system. I can’t argue with the desire for reform. Whether you agree or disagree with the verdict of this particular trial, I would hope that you could admit we do not have a perfect legal system, and that there is indeed room for improvement. But if that’s the case, I hope these people that are protesting for reform in our legal system don’t lose their enthusiasm for the cause after it’s not the leading story on every media source.

Too often we watch the cycle. The media focuses on “The Big Story” for about a week. People get enraged and take to their social media pages. Some picket and protest. For about a week. Then - the story fades, a new one comes into the spotlight, and the cycle starts all over again. Too often, a week’s worth of focus on the previous topic wasn’t enough to bring about change. We get distracted too easily. Out of sight, out of mind. And we’re always looking for the next story.

As I begin a new year of life, I realize that maintaining focus is of the utmost importance. In a world of distractions, it takes a commitment to one’s self and to one’s beliefs to wander without becoming lost. We must remember why we are upset by these circumstances. On some level, we all desire a more peaceful and harmonious world. Don’t forget to account for that in the person you decide to be.

This week, let’s meditate on the gift of life. Reflect upon your life. It doesn’t have to be on your birthday. Any time is a good time to remind yourself of who you are, what you stand for, and how you’re going to achieve your goals. If you would prefer less violence and aggression in the world, then make it a part of who you are. Don’t just jump from one popular case to the next. And don’t become the aggression you are striving to remove from the world. As Nietzsche said, "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.” So whether it’s your birthday or not, be grateful for the gift of life, and try to use yours in the best way possible. Not only your own good, but for the greater good as well.